El Bloggo Torcido
("The Twisted Blog" - more or less)
Welcome to the new home of The Twisted Blog! If you are looking for older posts you can find them here. Have fun!
"The Adventures of Private Chicken... as clucked to SGT F"
SGT F is a Twisted Few wine club member, serving in the US military someplace in Afghanistan, with his (t)rusty sidekick, Private Chicken. SGT F will be sending us periodic transcriptions of Private Chicken's tour of duty. Here (such as it is) is the first installment...
Greetings from an undisclosed location in Afghanistan. I figured Tuesday would be a great day to blog about Private Chicken, as it is the only day we have off. Some complain about work weeks that are twelve hours long, six days a week. Personally I wonder, what else are you going to do? Travel outside the wire to do some shopping? I figured for the twenty-six weeks or so that we have left over here, I would try and enlighten the masses about what we do over here, our accommodations and what we do when we are not working.
Private Chicken and I work in communications and computer-system-network operations (funny thing since the net is really horrible here). The pictures here show our accommodations - and he is not happy since he allegedly is a “free range” chicken. Whatever - embrace the suck, Private….! Imagine if you will a “POD” system they deliver to your driveway (only longer). We are all of seven feet wide by twenty feet long (thank goodness my roommates are on my team). Showers and latrine are down the hall - the Private has been notified that he can not just crap wherever he wants. We gotta live here!
He is kind of upset that, coming from winery, there is no alcohol anywhere (hell, we don’t even have a vineyard...) Again, I told the Private to embrace the suck (a very common theme around here….) We stay very busy and with that being said, there may be a week or two where we won’t be around. But next week…….he gets to visit the cigar bar……… SGT F.
Well, THAT should be interesting! Stay tuned for next week's episode!
For Immediate Release: Twisted Oak Winery Announces Summer Concert Series
What: Summer Concert Series – “Folk at the Oak”
Where: Twisted Oak Winery, 4280 Red Hill Rd at Hwy 4, Vallecito
(between Angels Camp and Murphys)
Looking for something that pairs perfectly with a Tempranillo and is more fun than a barrel of rubber chickens? May we suggest a stunning vista overlooking Calaveras County vineyards, a hearty dinner, and a concert under the stars? The location at Twisted Oak Winery in Vallecito, offers a made-for-each other combination of idyllic setting, yummy award-winning wines, and plenty of space to spread out your blanket to enjoy a family-friendly evening of acoustic, folk, bluegrass, and Americana music, with the iconic Twisted Oak Tree serving as the centerpiece.
Confirmed artists include: Bushwalla (May 12); Peter Rowan (June 29); Laurie Lewis & Tom Rozum with the Bee Eaters (July 6); Uncle Bonsai (a twisted folk trio from Seattle, July 20); Maria Muldaur (July 27); The Joe Craven Trio (Aug 18); Darol Anger with Emy Phelps, Sharon Gilchrist and Rushad Eggleston (Aug 24); and an evening of classical/world music mandolin duets with Mike Marshall & Caterina Lichtenberg (Sept 7). More shows to be added.
“The rubber chickens have been clamoring for years to get more live music up here at the winery,” said Jeff Stai, owner and El Jefe of Twisted Oak Winery. “We’re excited to be bringing such top musical talent to Calaveras County, so maybe those chickens will shut up now.”
Visit www.twistedoak.com and Twisted Oak on Facebook (facebook.com/twistedoak) for concert and event updates.
Dinner, that yummy Twisted Oak wine, soft drinks, and water will be available for purchase. Outside alcoholic beverages are not permitted. Bring blankets and low-back chairs for seating. Seating is first-come, first-served. Pirate attire always encouraged.
Twisted Oak Winery, located in Calaveras County in the Sierra Foothills, produces award-winning fine wines made from grape varieties native to the Rhône Valley of France, Spain, and Portugal. We also enjoy hanging around with rubber chickens and dressing up like pirates.
Press contacts: Jeff Stai, Twisted Oak Winery - email@example.com (winery)
Maria Camillo - firstname.lastname@example.org (music)
You don't have to go to a restaurant, you don't have to go to a fast food joint, you don't have to dress up, you don't have to go someplace and swing around on a pole...
But you do need to leave the house and go someplace. It can be a five-star restaurant, or it can be a friend's house.
Just *%#&@! GO!
(That's quite the swinging chicken there... photo by 2010 finalist Alissa Hartwig.)
Your rubber chicken does not have to be rubber, but it does have to be a chicken, and it does have to look somewhat rubber-like. It does not have to be an Original Recipe Twisted Oak Rubber Chicken (though it wouldn't hurt either.) In a pinch you can even even use a flat cutout of a picture of a rubber chicken for your rubber chicken.
Just take it out to dinner and take a *%#&@! picture!
(We're not sure what this rubber chicken is actually made of... photo by 2011 finalist Danielle Dearing.)
OK, we can't tell from your photo whether you are having breakfast for dinner (or dinner for breakfast, for that matter).
So... of course, it doesn't matter what the food is or what time of day. Take your rubber chicken out for a meal, take some pictures, and have fun. (And if you have this Fluffy Guy in your dinner party, be sure to bring extra cake.)
(Take Your Rubber Chicken To Dinner ends April 23rd! Details at www.twistedoak.com/tyrctd)
Take Your Rubber Chicken To Dinner starts now and ends April 23rd. This should give you plenty of time to visit Yelp and other web sites to determine which restaurants are rubber-chicken-friendly. Plenty of time.
(2011 Take Your Rubber Chicken to Work Week winning photo by Tina Caputo)
Ready to go? Just a few simple rules:
- Go to someplace to eat, not your own home, and take your rubber chicken with you. (This seems obvious, doesn't it?)
- The rubber chicken(s) (you may take more than one) must be made of some rubber-like compound (does it stretch a little? bingo!) and must look like a chicken (absolutely no *%#&@! duckies!) It does not have to be a Twisted Oak Original Recipe Rubber Chicken. But it wouldn't hurt either.
- Take pictures or video of your rubber chicken at dinner. Pro tip: One good picture is more likely to win than a bunch of average pictures. Please just send your best, we recommend sending six or less. (We also reserve the right to select a few of your many for the voting.) Another hint: FOCUS!
- Send us your high resolution photo(s) or video (email email@example.com), or post them up someplace and send us an email telling us where they are. (Hint: if you post them, make sure they are publicly accessible! You may even choose to post them on the wall of the Twisted Oak Facebook page.)
- You have until April 23rd (that's 11:59pm PDT if you MUST get technical) to send us your entry. We will acknowledge your entry. If you don't hear back from us in a day or two, panic.
- Fabulous compensation will be awarded for the best photos and videos submitted. The Twisted Judges will select a number of semifinalists, and the best entry will be chosen by public vote. If there is a tie in the final voting the best entry will be chosen by Twisted Oak Winery staff. (Hey, it could happen.)
- Submissions will be judged for humor, originality, humor, creativity, humor, and technique. Did we mention humor?
- You must be 21 years or older to enter.
- By sending your photos or videos to Twisted Oak Winery LLC, you agree to let us publish them to twistedoak.com and to our social media, and publish them in any printed matter. We don't expect this permission to be exclusive, and we can't and won't transfer that permission to anyone else without asking you first. And when we do publish your photos and/or videos, we will always give you full credit. That's forever.
- Twisted Oak Winery reserves the right to disqualify any entry that does not meet the spirit of the event, is a no-no where you live, or does not follow the rules. We also reserve the right to disqualify any votes that are determined to constitute ballot stuffing. Play nice!
- Twisted Oak Winery is not responsible for bad food, bad service, bad wine choices, overcooked meat, mushy peas, or the tab for dinner. That's on you. Besides, this is supposed to be fun!
And the compensation? All qualified entries will receive a $10 MasterCluck gift card, which can be used to order wine online at twistedoak.com. Finalists will receive a $75 MasterCluck gift card, and the best entry will receive a $250 MasterCluck gift card!
Questions? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
A little disclaimer: Twisted Oak Winery LLC compensates photographers for good work, for use in its marketing efforts. Compensation is in the form of "store credit". We hope that's clear enough.
[Updates] More info:
Wine Blogging Wednesday was once a regular staple of El Bloggo Torcido, and it's nice to see the monthly event is back in working order. This month (today!) is being hosted by our buddy Joe Roberts, the 1WineDude, and the theme is "Singles Night".
Have no fear, married people can participate too! The idea is taste and write about a wine from a single vineyard. Fortunately, there is no shortage of single vineyard wines in our scuderia, to wit:
- Dalton: River of Skulls, Viognier
- Twisted: Torcido, The Spaniard, Graciano
- Tanner: Syrah, Petite Sirah, Carignane
- Clondaire: Ruben's Blend
- Parcel 17: Parcel 17
- Munari: Picpoul
We realize this is late notice but we only got the memo this morning. We'll do better next time. So if you can swing, try once of these wines tonight and let us know what you think in the comments. Or post a review on the wine page. Or both!
July 23, 2014
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